I'm scared of getting lost in rainbows and a grizzly in the bushes...

...while in fact, there is no grizzly in the bushes.

I’m a primitive hunter, a man with nothing but a shaved spear and a voracious desire for berries. I see a bush in one corner of the clearing, and my eyes light up. I spot specks of red scattered amongst the green - juicy, ripe berries. I cautiously walk over to the bush, premeditating how my kids’ eyes will light up with joy as I unbundle the berries for them some hours later. As I reach the bushes, something feels off, but all I see is a sea of berries beckoning to me. I scoop up the first handful alongside some leaves - they are indeed ripe. I try to scoop even more the second time when all of a sudden, I’m face-to-face with a paw bigger than my own head. The next thing I know, I’m reeling in the dust and grass with berries scattered around my semi-limp torso. “Animal,” I think to myself as my brain tries to process what’s going on. Adrenaline is surging through my body, kicking my limbs back into motion. I peer through one eye to see a gigantic brown grizzly emerging from the bushes. My mouth goes dry, and I instinctively scream, a painful cry for help that echoes through the forest. The monster is unfazed. He raises his other paw, ready to disembowel my insides, when a spear zips in from nowhere and hits him just below his eye. He growls in pain as another spear lodges itself in his arm. More annoyed than scared, he retreats back into the bushes as my vision fades out due to receding adrenaline.

I survive with a giant scar on my face and a harsh memory of that feral encounter that somehow becomes fainter with each passing day. But every single time I see a bush with berries, my muscles tense up, and all the saliva drains from my mouth almost instantly.

My brain has now conditioned itself to stay away from bushes. At the same time, it’s letting go of the incident’s extremely specific details, like the sound of the grizzly and how his paws looked like. It’s protecting me from myself.

In this world we live in today, we get anxious a lot more often. The interesting thing is that there’s no grizzly waiting for me outside my bedroom every morning, or before I go to work, or before I go out with my friends. Then why does it seem like my heart starts racing, and I unknowingly stutter through sentences? Like I understand what’s happening, but it shouldn’t happen since it inhibits me from doing things that I otherwise would have no difficulty doing.

And then people come up to me to say, “Just be happy, it’s that easy”, and I go “Wow, thanks! I’m cured.”

We’ll talk about anxiety in detail soon - probably in the next few newsletters. Also, speaking of anxiety, I have an interesting album for you to explore today. This one is Radiohead’s masterpiece, their pièce de résistance. An album that demands infinite listens and then some more. A project that somehow amazes me every single time I plug my headphones in and hit play. For me, it’s a top-tier project with little to no flaws. And I think every album has flaws.

In Rainbows, ladies and gentlemen. If you haven’t listened to this album yet, for the love of everything holy, do so. I’ve got a track-by-track review of In Rainbows for you right here.

SIDE A

15 Step

The track is a solid opener to a great, if not the greatest five-track run in music. The song gets better towards the second half when the keys get that angsty undertone to them, and Thom’s high notes capture that angst as well as the music.

Bodysnatchers

The song will tickle your inner guitarist who loves to wiggle their fingers in the air as Thom’s scream takes the track to a whole different key towards the later half. One of my favourite songs from the album, and I’m not even considering the utility of this track as an alarm ringtone.

Nude

There is no other track like Nude. If I was a writer, a music composer and a Michelin Star chef, Nude wouldn’t just be the main course – it’d be a whole 7-course meal. How I can listen to Thom’s melodic ‘oohs’ for 5 minutes straight is oblivious to me too, but the track is so much more than that. It’s a platter of melancholy served with hopeful yet crushing sides (don’t ask me how) and a constant taste of sweet spice in my ears that makes me want to rip my heart out and frankly, have it for dessert.

It’s a beautiful track in a messed-up way, and I love it.

Weird Fishes / Arpeggi

It’s pretty dangerous to have a track like Weird Fishes right after Nude, but Radiohead pulls it off. And majestically, I might add. I cry a little inside every time Thom yells Everybody Leaves. Drums and Bass really stand out on this track. There’s nothing much to say except it’s an unquestionable 10/10 in my book. I get eaten by the worms, and weird fishes…

All I Need

Another 10/10. I mean, how is it possible? How is a band so consistently fantastic, not just good? Rhetorical question, by the way. A helpless, love-ridden set of lyrics that tugs at heartstrings in a special way. The track is composed around a bassline that’s so perfectly mixed with the rest of the track that you forget it’s there, but it’s always there. All I Need is literally All U Need.

SIDE B

Faust Arp

This track is an interlude of sorts, slowing down the pace and the intensity from side A. A little too heavy on violin for my taste, but I really, really like the part where the song shifts to a higher key and then fades out.

Reckoner

I don’t fully understand the love people have for Reckoner, but I think it might have something to do with my ears’ sincere disregard for sharp percussion sounds. However, I tried tweaking the EQ a little bit, and the track sounded much better. The vocal ambience, the chords and Thom’s delivery on a refreshing drum set are bliss for the soul.

House of Cards

I don’t wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
And I was gone, lost in this track at the fifty-second mark as the lyrics pried a confession out of this unwilling heart. What a track. It doesn’t help that the vocals have a very wet reverb that tickles my ears.

Jigsaw Falling Into Place

I knew I would love this track when I first heard the strings building into the song on top of the hi-hats. I was in love when Thom’s layered hums pour into my ear canals. I wanted to scream my heart out when the song changed key. Another solid, solid 10/10 by Radiohead, apart from being my personal favourite.

Videotape

Radiohead doesn’t quite have another outro such as Videotape. The keys encompass so much pain for reasons unknown to me. I can’t quite describe this track. It deserves a listen when you feel like an absolute piece of filth in your life.

The days will start getting longer again, and the sky will once again be blue. Unless you’re in Australia, in which case, stock up on Vitamin D, folks.

With love and rainbows.